Chapter 18: Yearning

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In truth, when she heard Mo Yangzhou ask that question, her heart had already answered. She was not angry; she simply felt a pang of sympathy. Sympathy for the man’s endurance. He had never demanded anything from her. Jiang Wu thought to herself that they would be together properly someday, but from Mo Yangzhou’s perspective, she was merely here to pass the time when displeased. Jiang Wu held his hand.

“Yangzhou,” she said softly, “I’m thinking about our future.”

Mo Yangzhou clenched his trembling teeth. This was the first time she mentioned the future—the first time they spoke of what was to come.

Jiang Wu felt a bit shy under the radiant gaze he gave her. She averted her eyes slightly. “That Chu Ling is a despicable man. If he knew you existed now, both you and Mingzhu would be in trouble. Once I divorce him, we’ll be able to be together openly and without fear.”

The important thing was that then he wouldn’t have time to meddle with her.

The only thing Jiang Wu couldn’t bear to part with was her child. But even without her, the child would be fine. They were not lacking a powerful father, nor would they lack love. She was merely dispensable, someone who could be replaced at any moment. To say she remained in the Prime Minister’s mansion for their sake was more a self-deceiving joke.

That was why she must think for herself.

A myriad of thoughts flickered in Mo Yangzhou’s eyes, and his smile carried a hint of bitterness. “But, my lady, no one knows what the future holds. Yangzhou only wishes for the present.”

He seemed painfully insecure.

This made Jiang Wu feel an unusual tenderness.

She was not like Chu Ling, who enjoyed trampling and bullying others. Yet she could not deny that a relationship where she held the dominant position brought her much happiness. Rarely sparing compliments, she coaxed him with gentle words.

Finally, she brought up Mingzhu.

“The Li family has never truly accepted Mingzhu. How did that boy from the Li family deceive her? You say Mingzhu is immature, yet you, as her father, don’t worry about her enough.”

Perhaps it was the nature of motherhood—whenever Jiang Wu spoke of children, she couldn’t help but ramble.

Mo Yangzhou agreed with a smile. “Mingzhu is a willful child.”

That was true—Mingzhu was indeed headstrong and not easily disciplined. Alas, Yangzhou’s gentle nature made fatherhood no easy task.

“The Li family is a difficult household. Even if Mingzhu married in, who knows how much hardship she would endure? She wouldn’t even have a protector.”

The more Jiang Wu spoke, the more she saw no benefit in this marriage. Fortunately, she had not foolishly agreed before.

“If you ask me, it’s better to take a son-in-law into the household. Mingzhu wouldn’t have to leave us, and if she’s bullied, we could keep an eye on things.”

That was truly a good idea. She finished enthusiastically but, waiting for Mo Yangzhou’s response, noticed a trace of distraction in his eyes.

This was the first time the man, who always listened intently, looked absent-minded. Jiang Wu asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Mo Yangzhou snapped back to attention. “Nothing…” He hesitated, seemingly unwilling to speak, but after meeting Jiang Wu’s gaze, he fell silent for a moment before saying, “Mingzhu’s mother… said the same thing.”

Jiang Wu was slightly taken aback. Honestly, hearing him speak of his late wife when they had just decided to spend their lives together felt strange.

Yet she was not as upset as she had imagined, even though he had been distracted while speaking to her.

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Perhaps it was because they were now thirty-seven, not seventeen.

Jiang Wu even found herself a little curious.

“What kind of person was Mingzhu’s mother?”

Mo Yangzhou didn’t answer immediately. He studied Jiang Wu’s expression for a moment. She felt he was gauging whether she was displeased. Well, she did feel a little uncomfortable, but not truly upset.

After confirming this, Mo Yangzhou spoke calmly, without a hint of nostalgia, “She was a… very kind woman. Mingzhu’s name was given by her. She called our daughter her precious pearl, the apple of her eye, and vowed to give her all her love. She said she wouldn’t have any more children, and when Mingzhu grew up, she would take a son-in-law.”

Jiang Wu was somewhat surprised.

Honestly, few mothers would hope to bring in a son-in-law this way; it carried a certain loss of face.

Even Jiang Wu’s own views had only changed gradually after many years of marriage.

It seemed the woman had truly loved her daughter.

Jiang Wu’s last trace of resentment toward her faded away.

A mother who loved her daughter so deeply naturally inspired Jiang Wu’s sympathy and made her feel even more heartbroken for the girl who had lost her mother so young.

***

Mingzhu was feeding horses in the backyard stable.

Although servants were assigned to help, Jiang Wu knew this child was hands-on in caring for her beloved horses.

She was surprised when she arrived to find the Night Jade Lion still there, with Mingzhu quietly brushing its coat.

“Ah!” Jiang Wu exclaimed in astonishment. “Why is this horse still here? Mingzhu, didn’t you send it to my mansion?”

The horse had appeared at the estate just days after the race, and Jiang Wu naturally assumed Mingzhu had brought it. She had been busy picking up the children and hadn’t paid much attention, just glanced briefly and then forgot.

Now seeing it still here, she was puzzled.

Mingzhu seemed to realize something and explained, “When I tried to send this horse to the lady’s mansion, it was refused. I suppose someone else arranged another horse for you.”

Jiang Wu hadn’t noticed it was a different horse. Mingzhu’s tone struck her as odd, but she didn’t dwell on it.

“That’s good. Such a fine horse should be in your hands to be useful. It’s as beautiful as you are. I haven’t even ridden the horse at my mansion once.”

Jiang Wu finally noticed Mingzhu’s mood was somewhat downcast. Although her words seemed to ease the girl, a shadow still lingered in her eyes.

No doubt, something sentimental was troubling the spirited and capable young girl. Jiang Wu immediately remembered the reason for her visit.

She moved closer.

Seeing this, Mingzhu looked a little flustered and quickly stopped her. “The stable smells bad, lady. Please keep your distance.”

“It’s no trouble,” Jiang Wu replied, standing just outside the stall. The smell wasn’t too strong. She looked at the girl holding the saddle. “Mingzhu, what do you think of that Mr. Li?”

She asked cautiously, knowing the girl was just beginning to experience youthful feelings and did not want to be too harsh.

Mingzhu seemed surprised by the question. After a moment’s thought, she said, “He’s nice.”

If Jiang Wu listened carefully, she would have heard little romantic sentiment in those words.

Mingzhu was always straightforward and blunt, and hearing her say this only deepened Jiang Wu’s worry.

Where should she begin to counsel her?

As she realized the beautiful woman’s furrowed brow was because of her, Mingzhu felt the gloom lifting from her heart.

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Jiang Wu took a couple of steps closer to the stall and rested her hand on the railing, speaking gently as if afraid of hurting her.

“Mingzhu, that Mr. Li is not a good man. I’ve met his mother—it’s not a pleasant family.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Mingzhu said deliberately. “As long as Li treats me well, that’s enough. Serving my in-laws is my duty.”

The reckless, frivolous son of a noble family—Mingzhu had no real interest in him. If he weren’t useful in some way, she wouldn’t even give him a second glance.

Only this foolish woman could believe such things.

Jiang Wu continued to reason with her. “A man’s love is unreliable. He may treat you well now, but who knows about the future? You have no family backing. What if you’re bullied?”

Perhaps because she was holding on too tightly, the horse began to fidget.

Mingzhu came back to herself and soothed the horse’s coat while replying, “Li would never do that.”

As she spoke, she turned her head slightly, hiding the faint upturn at the corner of her mouth.

Oblivious, Jiang Wu thought how cruel life was: no matter how clever a woman, matters of the heart always brought suffering.

Having lived half her life, she understood that love and passion paled in comparison to choosing the right partner to walk through life with. The right partner meant compatibility in temperament, status, and background.

In short, she and Chu Ling had none of these, and thus were doomed to such an end.

Jiang Wu could not bear to see Mingzhu suffer the same fate.

The woman who called her precious pearl her only child surely could not bear to see her daughter hurt.

“Mingzhu,” Jiang Wu said, looking at the girl in the plain yet spirited attire in the stable, “you’re still young. I won’t harm you. Besides, your father has only you, and he wouldn’t want you to marry away. Just bring a son-in-law into our family, and we’ll always be together. No one will dare bully you.”

The girl, who had been brushing the horse, suddenly turned to look at her in shock.

Jiang Wu realized what she had just said and blushed, turning her gaze away and stepping back from the railing.

Though Mingzhu was clever enough to understand the relationship between her and her father, Jiang Wu was still the lady of the household. Speaking so openly was somewhat shameless.

As she averted her eyes, she did not notice Mingzhu’s eyes shining with longing.

Always together as a family.

She recalled the joyful scenes of Jiang Wu with her two children and the gentle question from the girl, “Can we sleep together?”

Could she, too?

Yes, she could.

She hated that corrupt official so much. If she could leave him and be with her father, wouldn’t that be her mother?

For the first time, Mingzhu felt that her father was somewhat useful.

Before she could say anything, a flash of deep red fabric appeared.

“Jiang Wu, something’s happened.”

It was Qingyang’s voice.

Jiang Wu composed herself and apologized to Mingzhu. “We’ll talk later,” then stepped aside.

Qingyang pulled her close and whispered, “I heard that Princess Yueyue was attacked.”