Chapter 5: Should We Have a Child? (5)

However, this time Leng Mohan was sleeping on the side of the bed closest to the window. To get in, she would have to climb over him, a prospect that left her deeply conflicted. She stood by the bedside for a long time, until the soles of her feet went numb, before she finally climbed up with cautious, light movements.

Just as she was about to step over him, he suddenly rolled over. With one foot already across and the other still on the far side, she lost her balance and collapsed right onto him.

She landed heavily—so heavily that she could hear a dull thud. Her lips pressed directly against his, the cool sensation causing her heart to tremble.

His lips tasted of the cola he had drunk earlier that afternoon; there was a faint, lingering sweetness. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but she still felt it was a flavor she loved.

She remained frozen, lying atop him, her lips still pressed against his. She didn't move, her eyes blinking rapidly. Her long eyelashes swept across his eyelids like brushes, each stroke feeling as though it were brushing against his very heart. The tingling sensation made it impossible for him to continue pretending to be asleep.

Helplessly, he opened his eyes to see a pair of magnified, wide, innocent eyes staring back at him. Her dark pupils were like black crystals, incredibly bright. His heart softened; the words, "Have you crawled enough?" that had been on the tip of his tongue were swallowed back down. The hands he had intended to use to push her away moved instinctively to hold her waist. He suddenly smiled, his expression softening as he said, "Yanyan, should I consider this you throwing yourself into my arms?"

Lin Yan recoiled as if electrocuted, but he pulled her tighter, causing their foreheads to collide with a soft thud.

She widened her innocent eyes, peering into his, which were as dark and deep as a whirlpool. They were bottomless, always hiding his true emotions, yet in this moment, she saw something else there—desire.

It was like a flame flickering within, intense enough to suffocate her.

"Um, it was an accident. I didn't hurt you, did I?" Lin Yan asked, mortified, as she tried to scramble up.

But as she arched her back, Leng Mohan pressed her back down. This time, she could clearly feel a hard object pressing against her between her legs. Lin Yan’s mind went blank, a sudden explosion of heat rushing through her.

Although they had been married for two years, they had never truly shared a physical intimacy, save for their wedding night.

She remembered that night. He had been drunk, his eyes shining like stars—all the stars in the sky—dazzlingly bright. He was cloaked in the scent of alcohol, a heady fragrance that made her lose herself, and his kisses had fallen upon her like rain.

Then, without warning, he had entered her. The pain was something she would never forget for the rest of her life—it felt as if she were being torn apart.

She remembered crying. He had stayed inside her, completely still, simply resting there as he kissed away every trace of her tears before quickly pulling away and leaving.

That was her wedding night, her first time. She had lost her virginity, yet she hadn't been able to spend the dawn with her groom. After pulling away, he had hurried out. She didn't know where he had gone, and because he hadn't said, she hadn't asked.

And so, in her mind, the intimacy between husband and wife was nothing more than a deeply agonizing ordeal.

Her face flushed a deep crimson, and in her heart, she was terrified. She feared the pain, and she feared him.