Resolute in Heart, Yet Baffled by Doubt

The spot where the truck had broken down was already halfway through our return journey, so despite setting off in the afternoon, we managed to make it back to Dubai by nightfall.

Trucks are not permitted on the main city thoroughfares, so we had to leave the vehicle at a designated spot and hail a taxi for the rest of the way. Naturally, Ricky and I were heading back to the campus, while Musa chose to go straight home.

Along the way, Musa and I made casual small talk, deliberately avoiding the elephant in the room. Yet avoiding it did not mean forgetting it. As the car neared its destination, both of us fell silent, as if we had been brewing this moment for a long time.

Not far away, the dazzling neon lights pierced through the throat of the late night. The moonlight swayed, bright as day yet seemingly on the verge of shattering.

Lowering my head, my loose hair blocked my face. After a moment of hesitation, I finally spoke.

"Among your siblings and relatives, has there ever been a precedent of anyone dating a non-Muslim?"

Musa stared at the steering wheel and, predictably, gave a helpless shake of his head.

He gritted his teeth and said, "My father is a renowned doctor, my grandfather a deeply respected imam at the mosque, and my uncle is also a community imam who officiates weddings and funerals and chants scriptures while slaughtering livestock."

I raised my head, looking at him in confusion. "What does that have to do with professions?"

"It does. Of course it does." Musa took a deep breath, but offered no further explanation.

Perhaps that explanation would be too hurtful.

However, I didn't really care about that particular issue. After a brief pause, I asked instead, "What about your friends, the people you know? Are there any precedents among them?"

This time, he nodded and answered with certainty, "Yes."

The tightness in my chest eased at that single word, and I finally let out a sigh of relief. Come to think of it, with over eighty percent of Dubai's population being expatriates, it would be impossible for there to be no precedent at all. While conservative taboos existed here, so did openness and tolerance.

"Hey, are you heading back to school or not? Coming?"

"Coming, coming, just give me a minute." I poked my head out the window to answer Ricky, then turned back to Musa, a faint reluctance to part lingering in my heart. "Well, I should get going."

"Alright," he rasped in response. "I'm going to park the car."

I pulled the door open and stepped out.

"Wait!" he suddenly stopped me.

"Hmm?" I turned back to look at him, a flicker of anticipation welling up inside me.

Meeting my expectant gaze, he paused, averted his eyes, and said, "I don't know Singh very well, and since he's a Sikh, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to go visit him."

So it was about that. A mild wave of disappointment washed over my heart, but I quickly put on a bright smile again. "I understand. Make sure you get some good rest tonight."

"Wait, E," he stopped me once more.

I stiffened, staying right where I was, waiting for whatever he was about to say.

"Along this journey, I've made a decision," he steadied his breathing and said to me with utmost solemnity. "I'm going back to tell my mother."

We had merely shared a kiss; we hadn't even defined our relationship yet—did he really need to inform his parents so soon? Not only was he unprepared, but even I, bearing no heavy burdens, wasn't ready either. I hurriedly waved my hands in refusal. "No, no, let's talk about that kind of thing later."

He furrowed his brows slightly, deriving no joy from being understood. Slowly, he looked at me, his gaze deep and clear like a spring of water, as if looking straight into the depths of my soul. "E."

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry."

He delivered this apology with absolute solemnity and profound sorrow. I was a bit bewildered by the current atmosphere. First Musa wanted to tell his mother, and now he was apologizing—what on earth did it all mean? Not knowing what to say, I could only offer a helpless smile, wave goodbye, and bid him farewell.

Turning around and grabbing my luggage, Ricky and I walked side by side on our way back to the campus. I could not possibly guess the tangled struggles waging inside Musa's heart at that very moment.