Chapter Four: Handling Aunt Liu with Finesse

After Yun Niang finished speaking, there was pity and contempt in her eyes as she casually swayed the third-rank plain-silver jade fan in her hand.

For a cultivator who had always lived in Greenwood Village, a third-rank plain-silver jade fan was a rare spiritual artifact indeed. After all, cultivators usually kept a few weapons of their own for self-preservation.

In truth, although she seemed to get along well with the Song cultivator in this village, she had always despised her inwardly.

She hated that woman for having such a handsome and considerate dao companion, and hated that her children always came back from outside carrying home all sorts of things.

Seeing the atmosphere grow awkward and no one taking up her words, she went on as if nothing were amiss, addressing Song Liyao:

“Yao, I heard from Aunt Liu that your family’s second daughter didn’t make the selection. Sigh, your family really doesn’t have the luck for blessings. When my Yun’er goes to be a maid in Old Cultivator Zhou’s dwelling, I’ll have her pull your Yun’er along and give her a hand!”

“I also heard from Aunt Liu that Old Cultivator Zhou’s dwelling is full of all manner of mountain delicacies and sea treasures, countless rare herbs a hundred years old and more, and that even the most ordinary spirit pill would be something none of us could ever hope to afford in our lifetime. Not to mention that, at that time, she could serve as a maid at the side of a Foundation Establishment senior—what a glorious future!”

After hearing this, Song Liyao showed no embarrassment or humiliation at all. Instead, she laughed and said to the gathered companions:

“Sigh, our family really isn’t blessed with that sort of fortune. Those glittering eighty-eight spirit stones made our second girl terribly uneasy; she simply couldn’t bear to hold them!”

The broad grin on Yun Niang’s face instantly stiffened. Her expression turned green, then white.

What?

Eighty-eight spirit stones?

Wasn’t that wretched woman supposed to say twelve spirit stones? How dare she pocket seventy-six of them for herself!

The more Yun Niang thought about it, the angrier she became. She had no time to spar with the nearby companions and stormed straight toward Aunt Liu’s courtyard.

Seeing that the matter was settled, Song Liyao prepared to head home.

But what struck Jiang Haohao as strange was this: after going somewhere, Mother quietly chanted a spell she could not understand, and then a deep pit suddenly exploded open in the flat ground!

Jiang Haohao stared, stunned, at the power of the spell. It had to be said, this spell was terrifyingly destructive. It scared the poop right out of her...

Song Liyao smelled the stench of excrement from the little dumpling in her arms, patted Jiang Haohao’s head in comfort, and used a Cleansing Talisman to clean her up. Only, Mother seemed to deliberately leave the mess behind and tossed a huge pile into the pit.

Then Jiang Haohao saw her mother gather a lot of weeds and even use lime to cover up the smell of the feces, disguising the newly blasted pit so it looked no different from the surrounding earth.

Only then did Jiang Haohao understand: so her mother had made such a big, deep pit in this place that everyone had to pass through—she was setting a trap?

That pit would probably be enough to break a person’s leg...

Her mother...

Only after realizing this did Jiang Haohao warily look around. Seeing no one nearby, she finally let out a breath.

This was reassuring.

Song Liyao finished her work and headed straight back home. By then the sun was setting after all the back-and-forth, and Brother Xu would be off work soon; it was time to go home and prepare the spirit meal.

Jiang Haohao looked back once more at the deep pit. If not for the faint smell of her masterpiece, she would not even have been able to tell where Mother had dug it.

She swayed along like that, and when Jiang Haohao woke again, it was already dark. She had been roused by a strong urge to urinate.

She saw that her own mouth was still suckling on her fingers, drinking in the fairy water. It looked as though the nectar and jade dew she had tasted in her dream must have been this.

She began bawling loudly, only to discover, once she strained herself to cry, that the feces in her rear also came out together with it...

Her second sister hurried over to clean up the mess on her body, all the while saying with obvious disgust:

“Why does little sister’s poop smell worse every day!”

Jiang Haohao silently stared at her second sister. Honestly, she had not expected her poop to be so powerful...

It even stung the eyes. She had truly been overwhelmed by her own stench...

Then she heard her second sister hold her and rub her all over, muttering softly:

Why does little sister seem a little fairer than before?

Jiang Haohao looked at the bed curtain and said nothing...

Because the feces had been unusually smooth lately, Jiang Haohao even slept more sweetly.

Early the next morning, after another good dream, she was awakened by the noisy sharing of gossip from a neighboring companion with her mother.

“...Aunt Liu got her leg broken by that pit. I’m afraid it’ll take a huge pile of spirit stones to heal it. I wonder which alchemy companion would be willing to sell her medicine.”

Her mother could hardly keep the smile off her face and asked in a mysterious tone:

“Did they find out who did it? That was just too wicked!”

The companion also seemed baffled.

“It should have been some mischievous child doing it for fun. After all, who would know Aunt Liu would walk right into the pit on such a wide road!”

“But I also heard that Yun Niang had it even worse!”

Jiang Haohao felt her mother’s previously tense body relax. Together with the nearby companion, she eagerly asked what exactly had happened.

It turned out to begin with a rumor Yun Niang had heard from somewhere: that Old Cultivator Zhou had spent eighty-eight spirit stones to buy the maid, but by the time Aunt Liu told the story, it had become only twelve spirit stones, with seventy-six of them pocketed all by herself. How could Yun Niang accept that? She went to Aunt Liu’s courtyard and made a huge scene, cursing so fiercely that Aunt Liu could not even lift her head.

Later, Aunt Liu broke her own leg in a fall and thought Yun Niang had done it, so she went to Yun Niang’s house and caused a ruckus there for a long time!

The mother and daughter listened to this earth-shaking gossip with full concentration.

Seeing that it was getting late, the neighbor reluctantly took her leave and went back to prepare the spirit meal.

That night, once everyone in the family had returned, the second sister could not help but bring up the gossip as well.

“Yun Niang demanded that Aunt Liu make up the seventy-six spirit stones. But Aunt Liu refused and said there could never have been eighty-eight. In the end, Yun Niang simply refused to let Yun’er go and be a maid.”

Jiang Lin, standing nearby, was also somewhat puzzled.

“Sister Xiang said it was sixty spirit stones. How did it get passed around as eighty-eight? Aunt Liu definitely wouldn’t pay.”

Jiang Haohao could not help blurting out:

“Mm-mm! Ah-ah! It was Mother! It was Mother! I was right there!”

Jiang Yunyun’s worry over the matter vanished entirely, and she said in high spirits:

“It must have been the old man of heaven who couldn’t stand Aunt Liu’s evil deeds anymore, so he made a pit in the ground to teach her a lesson. I’m afraid Aunt Liu, who loves spirit stones more than her own life, would never spend them to buy that second-rank spirit pill!”

“She even tried to trick my spirit stones back then. Now she’s getting her comeuppance. What a joy!”

Mother said nothing, concealing her merits and her fame.

When Jiang Haohao slept again and woke once more, she heard her mother and her handsome father whispering on the bed in the dark.

“Brother Xu, no one will guess that I dug it, right?”

“Don’t worry. Everyone knows what kind of person Aunt Liu is. Plenty of people already dislike her, and some rogue cultivators even want her dead. She only broke a leg. Sleep easy.”

Hearing the wise old father say this, Jiang Haohao, who had been a little worried, also relaxed and went back to peaceful sleep, blowing little bubbles in her dreams.