36 Disappointment

It was late into the night when Qinglan finally left the Shen residence.

Han Yueqi, as was her custom, accompanied her to the carriage and instructed the housekeeper to arrange for a reliable gatekeeper to escort her—ever since Wei Yushan had blocked her carriage last time, Han Yueqi had been somewhat jumpy. The Shen family’s gatekeepers were well-acquainted with the Jinwu Guards of the capital; not only did they have no fear of the curfew, but they could also hold their own against the Wei family, who, in turn, had to tread carefully around them.

Qinglan, clumsy with words, felt she hadn't offered enough comfort, but Han Yueqi only smiled. "What’s the big deal? It’s nothing more than summoning a songstress at a banquet; it’s not as if he brought her into the house. Their family has always been this way, and Madam Shen has endured the same. Don’t worry about me; I’m not that fragile."

Qinglan was eventually helped into the carriage. As fate would have it, just as they reached the street, she saw a carriage returning, adorned with the Shen family’s lanterns. It was clearly Shen Yunze. He had likely felt too ashamed to face Han Yueqi and had stayed out until the dead of night. Had the street not been wide, Qinglan would have been loath to yield the path to him.

Seeing her mood, Nanny Yang smiled and advised, "Miss, don’t be so rigid. In these high-ranking, wealthy households, having three wives and four concubines is common enough. Everyone goes through it. Since Miss Han herself is fine, there is no need for you to worry so much."

"That is not the point," Qinglan replied.

But if that was not the point, what was? Men in this world were all greedy for novelty—her own father, Lord Ye, was a prime example. To be able to remember the grace and affection of a spouse and respect the rightful wife was already a rare virtue. Who could truly achieve the ideal of one heart, one person for a lifetime?

Yet, these young women at the flower-viewing banquets, were they not all beautiful, bright-eyed, and full of longing as they married? Surely, they were not aiming to spend their lives fighting concubines and managing maids. Those ladies who seemed to have seen through it all—were they not once the same as these girls? Otherwise, why would they still tear up when watching the protagonists in a play pledge eternal, unwavering devotion?

Han Yueqi had seen through it and chosen early on to abide by her family’s decision, marrying Shen Yunze after meeting him only twice. If they were content, that was her pragmatism, but it was no reason for her husband to disregard her sincerity. She was Qinglan’s dearest friend, as close as a sister by blood. If Lingbo were to be betrayed in such a way, Qinglan would never be able to swallow the bitterness in her heart.

They had grown up together, once girls of fourteen or fifteen, their hearts just beginning to stir, young ladies of noble birth who treasured their own grace. They had once spent late nights whispering about the future, quietly sketching the image of their future husbands. They had once donned the phoenix crown and robes, marrying with grandeur, entrusting their entire lives into the hands of a man.

Qinglan was perhaps less mature than her; the Ye sisters were all more resolute because they had witnessed the end of their own mother’s story, making them more discerning regarding affection. Beneath Qinglan’s gentle exterior lay a fierce spirit; she still held a grudge against Cui Jingyu to this day for a single remark about "laughing in the tavern of the Hu people."

Han Yueqi was more tactful, and her marriage was not even based on love. Though she had learned early from her mother how to be the mistress of a great family, how to soothe her husband as if he were a playful child, how to be gentle and virtuous, and how to prepare concubines and promote trusted maids for him during her pregnancy...

Yet, Shen Yunze still failed her.

***

When Shen Yunze returned this time, he still looked somewhat sheepish.

Han Yueqi was embroidering under the lamp in the Chenxiang Pavilion. When she saw him enter, she did not even raise her head, merely saying, "Tongyun, wait on the young master and help him change."

Tongyun was Han Yueqi’s dowry maid, slender and delicate. She was neither as skilled at managing the household as Nanny Han, nor as sharp and capable as Bairui or Lü'e, who managed the accounts and the servants respectively. Thus, she had been brought along specifically to be a concubine. Han Yueqi had promoted her to the position of Shen Yunze's concubine early on. Tongyun, however, remained loyal, obeying Han Yueqi in everything, no different than when she was just a maid in her mistress's room.

Shen Yunze had also been raised in luxury. Although he knew his actions the previous day were improper, his pride kept him from lowering his head, and the atmosphere remained strained. He was wearing a crane-patterned cloak of pale blue silk lined with fox fur. The Imperial Academy had recently popularized jade studs; they were beautiful, and amidst the thick winter furs, a touch of clear jade added a refined elegance. However, jade was difficult to work into buttons. As Tongyun undid them, she remarked, "Young master, these buttons have chafed the crane embroidery again."

"Then take it off; I will mend it later," Han Yueqi said. She rose to check Shen Yunze’s collar. Having removed her makeup for the night, her face was as clear and smooth as jade. With her eyes cast down, she felt more intimate, and a faint fragrance of orchids drifted from her, her hair cascading like clouds over her shoulders. Smelling it, Shen Yunze could not help but feel a pang of regret.

Seeing her sit back down to embroider, he walked over to strike up a conversation. "Why are you still embroidering so late? You’ll hurt your eyes."

"My heart is restless, I am embroidering to find peace," Han Yueqi said faintly. She remained as dignified as ever, without a trace of resentment, which only made him feel softer.

Nanny Han brought over a bowl of bird’s nest porridge stewed with milk. Seeing Shen Yunze sitting at the table with an embarrassed expression, she added fuel to the fire: "If the young master had returned earlier yesterday, that would have been best. It is a pity the blood bird’s nest stewed last night was the most nourishing, personally selected by the young mistress. She waited all night, and it had to go to waste. There is only silver-thread bird’s nest today; I hope the young master will not mind."

Shen Yunze felt even more ashamed. Seeing that Han Yueqi did not take the opportunity to lash out, but instead chided Nanny Yang, "Do not speak so much. The master has social obligations; it is common to return late. These things are trivial; the master's official duties are what matter."

She was not like the fragile, coddled daughters of his colleagues at the Academy, who were overly sentimental; in their private quarters, she would at most call him "my lord." But to Shen Yunze, hearing it now, his heart filled with tenderness.

"It was my recklessness. I should have sent someone to inform you," he admitted. "And I should not have stayed out, causing you worry."

Han Yueqi’s expression melted like the spring river.

"Thank you for your understanding, my lord." She looked at him with a smile in her eyes, reached out to take his hand, and gently persuaded, "Mother often said that husband and wife are one body. There is no one in this world who wishes for your well-being more than I do. Whatever you do, I will support you, let alone official business. It is just that now that you are in the Imperial Academy, you must maintain your integrity. Your heart is noble, and you may not realize that there are intrigues and calculations among your colleagues; you have been schemed against. It was my negligence; I was too focused on managing the household and forgot to care for you."

Her few light words carried deep meaning. Shen Yunze had initially thought she would only lecture him on his conduct, but he had not expected her to pinpoint the crux of the matter.

Indeed, there were conflicts over promotions within the Imperial Academy. Looking back at yesterday’s events through her perspective, they were truly riddled with suspicious circumstances.

Seeing the shock on his face, Han Yueqi knew he had understood. She beamed.

"The colleagues at the Academy are fine, but they lack the purity of your former classmates. Since you have a ten-day break and I have some free time, I was thinking, why not host a banquet at home? Invite your former classmates to drink, discuss literature, and compose poetry. Our family has a troupe; they can perform refined Southern melodies. It would be a sophisticated affair."

Shen Yunze’s eyes lit up. "You are right, my lady. It was my oversight."

Han Yueqi smiled slightly, stroking his hand. A brilliant scholar who had placed third in the imperial exams, the golden heir raised by the Shen family—though he had many flaws, as she had discussed with Qinglan, life is what it is; how can everything be perfect? As long as everything remained under her control, there was nothing to worry about.

Nanny Yang understood, leading the maids away. Tongyun remained to attend to them as they undressed for bed, but that is a story for another time.