Chapter 141: I Actually Despised My Former Self So Much

Shan Hongxing’s heart ached deeply. Every word Yang Wennan spoke was the absolute truth, and every single sentence pierced straight to his core.

Especially that final remark.

Do you believe in reincarnation?
Can destiny ever be altered?

Among all, Wen Jingge had chosen Qiao Yu alone. From a very young age, she had upheld her Master’s will, mastering all of her Master’s arts. She was profoundly well-versed in the path of divination.

Could all of this truly be predestined by fate?
Then why was it not him who had died?

Reincarnation! Destiny!
It was all far too heavy.

The paper figures slowly retreated. The moment they scattered, Yang Wennan nearly fell to his death from the sudden loss of balance, but fortunately Shan Hongxing was right beside him and caught him.

Once they landed, the fallen paper figures seemed entirely exhausted, collapsing onto the ground and rustling loudly in the wind, utterly incapable of rising again.

“Find a friend, find a friend……” The monk suddenly burst into laughter. Clapping his hands, he walked right up to Shan Hongxing, grabbed his clothes, and began to run forward. “Found a good friend, hurry up and save me……”

“Save you?”

Shan Hongxing had known the Sorrow-Joy Buddha from the past, though back then the Buddha did not possess such a lofty reputation. It was said that he suddenly attained Buddhist enlightenment after the death of his master, the Moon-Shadow Monk, but he was also prone to frequent bouts of madness.

This ailment was thoroughly bizarre; one could never quite tell whether he was truly mad or merely feigning it, because he always managed to awaken others through his chaotic gibberish.

“Save me! Save me!”

“Save you, yet there is still only you alone.”

“One, two, three—Senior Brother said that three makes a crowd. Little monk cannot count, cannot count. Little monk knows nothing, little monk knows nothing at all.”

Growing somewhat anxious, the monk squatted on the ground and refused to move another step. “Little monk knows nothing. Do not come near me, even if you do, I will not say a word.”

“Then if we leave, will you speak?” Ling Yi asked dryly. “Or will you speak only when these dead things are burned by fire?”

“Fire, fire, fire!” He pointed toward the sky. “Rumble! Fire! Fire! Once the fire starts, it comes out!”

The monk chanted as he ran. The others hesitated, unsure whether to follow, but Jin Wu grabbed Yuan Qingling by the collar and sprinted directly toward where the monk had vanished. “I love fire the most! I want to see just what kind of fire can drive a person mad. Run faster!”

“None of them left……”

“I don’t care! If you slow down, I’ll turn you into a child and make even your ghost of a master despise you!”

Yuan Qingling: ……

Shan Hongxing: “Keep up, but be careful not to fall too far behind.”

“Senior Brother!” Walking at the very rear, Qiao Yu called out to Liang Si, “I have something I wish to say to you.”

Yang Wennan could not help casting an extra glance. Seeing that Shan Hongxing was already on the verge of running out of sight, he merely called out, “Senior Brothers, do not fall behind.”

“Mn.” Liang Si nodded, pressing a small hammer into Yang Wennan’s hand. “You might find this useful.”

“Thanks.”

“What is it?”

“Does Senior Brother loathe me?” Qiao Yu asked him. “I had a sense of it long ago, but back then I thought it was my own fault. Yet after Master died, Senior Brother seemed to stop pretending entirely—as if you couldn’t wait to kill me?”

These words had been pent up inside him ever since they reunited with Shan Hongxing, and he desperately wanted to clear up the reason behind it all.

He could even imagine that previously, because the Grand Master resided within his body, the Eldest Senior Brother might have tolerated him; but once she emerged, that sense of isolation had become glaringly obvious.

“Is it because I am not strong enough?”
“Or because of that dream Master spoke of to you the day I entered the gates?”
“The dream where I killed Master?”
“Or perhaps, was it caused by the illusionary scenes conjured by the old Daoist?”

“Master said it was a dream, and I believed her. Most of the time, the visions seen by the Grand Master, even when I was asleep, would manifest in my mind as dreams. So many times, so many things, were discussed behind my back.”

“Yet, Eldest Senior Brother, did you really think I wouldn’t care?”

Liang Si gazed at him for a long while before leaving him with a single sentence: “You will not understand.”

“Why! Why would I not understand? Because of that eye in the sky?” He let out a cold laugh. “Why is it that you all can see it, while I alone cannot?”

“Not being able to see it is a blessing. If you were to see it……” Liang Si let out a long sigh, looking suddenly aged by many years. “You would end up like me—heartless, able only to act as a bystander.”

“Heartless?” Qiao Yu was dumbfounded. By the time he reacted, his hand had already pressed against Liang Si’s chest.

He truly had no heartbeat.

Refusing to believe it, Qiao Yu gripped Liang Si’s wrist, felt his neck, and searched every accessible pulse point……

“How can this be, Senior Brother……”

“Leaving Xuanjun Sect is the only way I become my normal self.” Liang Si curved his lips. The arc of his mouth resembled a fake smile, yet it carried a trace of tenderness. “Up on the mountain, I forget everything, indistinguishable from a walking corpse. Compared to the good days on the mountain, I prefer suffering down below. At the very least……”

He pressed a hand over his chest and heavily patted Qiao Yu’s shoulder. “In my past life, I failed to live this long…… Qiao Yu, remain true to yourself. Because of your sword-blank constitution, you will become the next Sword God. Of course, the price of becoming a god is not something an ordinary person can bear. Only you can……

“Heh, pay me no mind. Once matters here are settled, I shall remain behind to seek Master’s remains. No matter who stands guard there, I must fulfill the task I failed to finish in my past life.

“Therefore, Qiao Yu, you must never, ever fail Master’s expectations of you. She holds you in high regard—truly, far higher than you can possibly imagine.

“In this world, no one is more worthy of your trust than her. Whatever you do, do not betray that trust.

“Otherwise, you will end up like me…… Heh-heh-heh, like me, unable to hold my head high before her across two lifetimes.”

“Senior Brother……”

In Qiao Yu’s eyes, Liang Si had always been steadfast, never revealing the inner obsessions of his heart. He was like a square block of ice, one that could never be stirred into rippling waves.

Yet now, it did not seem merely as though ripples had formed in the depths of that ice; rather, it felt like the violent tremors of colliding glaciers.

“I am fine, go on ahead! I will not be going.”

“Does Senior Brother truly hold no hatred toward me in your heart?”

“You always love to overthink.” Liang Si ruffled his hair. “From now on, I leave the younger junior brothers and sisters in your care. Do not be willful anymore, and protect them well.”

“Alright!” Qiao Yu pulled him into an embrace.

Liang Si watched him walk into the distance, pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his hands, and used a fire incantation to burn the cloth into ashes.

“Qiao Yu, oh Qiao Yu, why on earth did I never realize you were such a foolish person?” He raised his eyes, seemingly willing the tears not to fall. “Wrong is wrong. Not listening to what should be heard, not believing what should be believed—you truly disgust me.”

“Heh-heh-heh, to think I despised my former self so much! Who could have imagined it? Master, are you satisfied now?
“To be forced to leave once again due to your disciple’s incompetence—why must you punish your disciple so? In my past life, I truly, truly must have been out of my mind to treat you that way. I beg you, please just stay alive!
“As long as you live, this disciple—this disciple will never seek to see you again, and will never be greedy again.”